Monday, May 27, 2019

Automatic Pen Reading

In 2002, triggered by being rejected by someone I thought I was in love with, I lost myself. Low self esteem, zero self love and feeling like I was damaged goods resulted in a deep depression and letting my life fall apart. I couldn't sleep, could barely eat, lost my job, my apartment ... I was a mess.

One night, in my depression, I decided to go to the local bookstore to numb my pain. As I walked around the store in my sadness I noticed a book sitting on a shelf titled "Finding The Boyfriend Within". I immediately liked the title and thought "well, if I can't find a boyfriend out there ... maybe I could find one in here". So I picked up the book and started reading the first chapter and was immediately hooked in and fascinated by the technique the author was explaining on how to tap into finding your boyfriend (or girlfriend) within.

The way to do this was simple. It required 2 pens, a journal, a comfortable quiet place to sit and a clear mind. The next step was to pick up one of the pens, write down a question in your journal, set the pen down then pick up the other pen and let it write out the answer to your question. Let the pen write freely. Do not try to control it. Simply, let the pen write thru the energy you're receiving through your clear mind in the present moment. I couldn't wait to get home and try it!

At home, I did exactly what the author said to do and to my surprise ... it worked! I started receiving beautiful spiritual answers to my questions and immediately started feeling the weight of my sadness lift. I practiced with "The Pen" every night before I went to bed and soon I started feeling better! I could feel my life starting to shift in a more positive direction.

At the time, I was seeing a therapist who I told about this technique I was using to help me feel better. She asked if I could show her how it worked. I agreed and to my surprise (and hers) it worked! I was able to channel energy thru the pens for another person!

My therapist suggested I go to the Hypnotherapy Institute here in Los Angeles to learn more about what I was able to do. There I was diagnosed as an Automatic Pen Writer and was told that I had a "gift".

Soon after, I started giving "pen readings" to the public out of a small room in the back of my friends store.

In 2006, I moved and decided to put "The Pen" on hold to focus in on my Dog Portrait Paintings (another form of Automatic Pen Writing). I continued to give readings to my close friends.

Recently, I decided to work with "The Pen" again and open myself up to giving readings to the public..

I believe everyone has the gift of channeling and using their intuition to find answers. I am not a psychic in the sense of having a crystal ball that will predict your future. Answers come thru the process of tuning into what is being written or drawn out onto the paper thru the pen. I often explain readings like tuning in a radio station. The more open you are ... the better the reception!

Visit my new site for an Automatic Pen Reading! Go to: AutomaticPenWriter.com

Saturday, May 11, 2019

I'm Back!


After 6 months of trying to come to terms with losing all my art materials ... contemplating if I’d ever want to paint again. Horrified at the idea of having to start over. Today I woke up and knew that it was time. As of today, FAGSY’S ART IS BACK! To all who contacted me after the fire regarding a commission ... please contact me again thru my site: http://artbyb.net. Thank you all again for helping me get back on my feet and to my boys at Graphaids Agoura thank you for taking the reins and helping me find my way back thru it all. 🖤 Also, thank you Blick Art Materials Pasadena for your sensitivity and understanding of the process. 🖤

Saturday, March 23, 2019

To others it appears that I'm happy. And in that moment maybe I am. But it's there inside. Sadness, grief, anger, aloneness... life goes on ... some take the time to ask how I'm doing ... many don't. I don't blame them. My nature is to laugh and be happy and appear that everything is okay. I'm an addict. I am obsessive compulsive. What may be easy for some is not easy for me. I work daily on bringing myself to a place of gratitude. To be kind to others because you never know what they're going thru and to forgive the people that expect me to be a certain way and/or heal a certain way within their time frame. It's not easy but this is my journey. I appreciate each and every one of you who checks in on me, leaves comments of support and takes the time to understand what I'm going thru. Thank you.

Fagsy

Wednesday, February 13, 2019

Howard ❤️

Howard
2008 - 2019
Thank you Howard for all that you gave me, taught me and showed me. You helped me through difficult times, you distracted me from sadness and you taught me that I am capable of loving unconditionally. My sweet, independent, strong, stubborn dog. I love you and you will live in my heart forever and I will miss you. "I'll be right back".

Wednesday, January 9, 2019

Thank You

Today is 2 months since the fire. The Go Fund Me campaign officially ended today. Thank you to everyone who donated to help me, Chris Barker and Nik Boyer for getting the GFM up so quickly and everyone who helped in sharing the page. I am beyond grateful to you, friends I've known since childhood, family, etc. You showed me what Love looks like, the definition of generosity and kindness. Thank you. Thank you SO much.

Love, Fagsy

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

❤️


Felt today was the perfect day to finally read the comments left on the Go Fund Me page created for me after the fire. From old friends to new friends, listeners of Straight Talk, Gay x 4 Pod, friends I went to High School with, people who’ve followed me on Twitter from the days when I had 8 followers to friends I don’t see often and family members. The outpouring of love and generosity was overwhelming. I held each donation in my heart, let it in and felt it. Thank you. Thank you for everything. I love you. 

Sunday, December 2, 2018

🔥🔥🔥

It has been a crazy 3 weeks. One minute life was normal ... then everything changed.

Life as I knew it will never be the same. My neighborhood will never be the same. We will never be the same. Fire stole our once normal lives away from us.

Losing everything in a fire feels like grief. Feels the same as when you lose someone only slightly different. It's hard to describe the feeling.

Yes, things are just things and I'm safe and all my neighbors are too. I'm grateful but also deeply saddened.

Now that the adrenaline has worn off ... here comes the reality of life. Life goes on but I'm still heartbroken. It's like I wanna yell at everyone "WAIT! MY HOME BURNED DOWN AND I HAVE NOTHING!!"

I keep playing the morning of the fire over and over in my head. Seeing the smoke getting thicker and closer over the ridge. Not knowing the fire was heading towards me and my neighborhood. The electricity was out so I couldn't watch the news.
I received concerned texts from my sister and friends but I didn't think it was that serious. I would stay and fight it!

Neighbors Lorne and James left to see where the fire was. They came back and told me to get out. In their tone I knew that I had to leave.

Frantically I grabbed a picture of my Mom and me on the wall, a t-shirt, 2 pair of underwear, my laptop, passport, social sec card, the dogs, Howard's heart medicine and left in my car.

I remember shutting my door with the thought that this may be the last time I see my place. I kinda knew it inside.

Driving thru the neighborhood towards Zuma Beach, thru smoke and wind ... things felt still. Like a nervous waiting. As I turned the last corner at the bottom of the hill I saw a wall of fire on the hill in front of me. That was when I knew we were all in trouble.

After parking on PCH, I walked down to the waters edge with the boys and watched the tornado of fire rip my neighborhood apart. I could feel the heat of the fire on my body as I watched my neighborhood go up in smoke.

I've never seen anything so violent and vicious in my life. I watched and cried as the wildlife ran in terror from this beast of a fire.

Finally after flailing around aimlessly on the beach and up at the center, I decided to get out. I could see blue sky in the south and that's where I went.

I had no place to go.

Fortunately my friend Cindy opened her home in West Hollywood to me and that is where I went and stayed for 2 weeks.

I'm now at another friends home in Pasadena. Safe.

I have moments of great sadness and grief. Then it passes and I'm filled with gratitude. I'm trying to be gentle with myself and not put pressure on me to have to figure anything out or do anything.

I am very fortunate. I have great friends and good people around me. To the listeners of Straight Talk and IAGGGGP ... THANK YOU.

The fire may have taken everything I had away from me but it also gave me more love than I could ever imagine being given to me.

Here are some images and video I took of the fire:








Thursday, September 20, 2018

It's A Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay Patreon Page

Okay, so if you become a patron and help fund my podcast monthly you will have access to some wonderful bonus content, merchandise, songs, painting giveaways and so much more! You will not only help my podcast grow and expand but you will be part of the show! I may even call you just to say hi! So "BECOME A PATRON" NOW! ANY AMOUNT! It doesn't have to be a lot! Love, Fagsy

CLICK ON PATREON LOGO ⬆︎

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Support My Podcast On Patreon!

Thank you for your support and love for my podcast. I was prepared to end it at 30 episodes because as you know, I simply could not afford the monthly cost to publish it. But now ... guuuuuuuurl with your help my Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay Podcast can go on and on and on ... (hopefully).

Become a Patron!

Monday, March 12, 2018

Fagsys Art

For more information about my art and to view my online gallery ... 
CLICK HERE: artbyb.net

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Sex And The City


Well, the day finally came where I gave in to watching Sex And The City. Yep, yours gayly was convinced by one Mr. Ross Mathews to finally give in to watching a show that I'd had no interest in.

I did see the Sex And The City movie where Liza Minnelli did her Single Ladies number. Seeing that only cemented in the fact that I NEVER wanted to watch SATC and never would!
Okay, so I caved. Yep that Ross Mathews is quite convincing. Also, I figured that now that we're able to binge watch certain shows ... maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Plus I was tired of always feeling left out of SATC references, jokes and conversations. So I said "whatever, I'll just watch it."

First of all I just gotta say, I was never a huge Sarah Jessica Parker fan. I enjoyed her in Hocus Pocus but that's about it. The only thing I knew about Cynthia Nixon (Miranda) was that she came out as a lesbian. I knew Kristin Davis (Charlotte) from Melrose Place and I LOVED Kim Catrell (Samantha) in Mannequin.

Good luck Fagsy!

Thursday, December 14, 2017